Oblivion

IMG_4233So many things happening in the UK & particularly in London just recently. I wonder if anywhere is safe. How many people can honestly say they feel safe in their everyday life? People say that life goes on & that we have to stick together in adversity. That´s true but hand on heart do people honestly feel safe going about their daily life? I doubt they do if honesty be known.

I´m London born & bred. I loved London back in the day. I travelled the world but I always returned home – to London, the place where I was born. No more, London isn´t home anymore. I don´t recognize the city. I don´t feel safe there anymore. Some say I´ve betrayed my birth town; abandoned it somehow. They are entitled to their opinion. After all they may be right. Many have to live & work there still.

We moved here to northern Spain in August 2007. Home is a village of about a hundred people. Everyone knows everybody else. Crime is nonexistent. One day we went into town & came home to find we´d left the front door wide open. I´ve lost count of the time we´ve accidently left the keys in the car overnight!

Many times I´ve felt homesick for the life of the city. Here our village is in the backwoods; far from the madding crowd. I can go without seeing another person for several days although I know that if we are in need then we can call on anyone & they´ll help willingly.

We have no immediate family & no close friends. We had no close friends back in the UK so nothing has changed there! I wonder if we were in the UK & something tragic or catastrophic happened then who would miss us? No one for they wouldn´t know we´d gone. Who would light a candle or lay flowers in our memory? No one for they wouldn’t know we´d passed. We are just names on the periphery of other people’s lives.

Here in my village we´d be missed. Isn´t it ironic that we had to come to a village in a foreign country to be missed?

If, suddenly, no one heard my name what would they think? Maybe they´d think we´d moved. Maybe they´d think I´d deleted my social media accounts. Maybe they´d think I was just a tad poorly. After a while they´d stop thinking. My name would fall into obscurity. Who would bother to find out what had happened to me? Easy answer – no one. There are some shouting at their screens right now saying that they´d miss me. The clue is in two words embedded in that sentence – right now. Wait a while & you´ll have forgotten even reading this – that´s my point.

I may feel lonely quite often but here in oblivion I am safe. My life will just carry on to its natural conclusion with no tragedy or catastrophe – God willing.

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